My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
