It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Randomize
