Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
