So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize