my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
