Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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