I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize