The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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