Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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