I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
