you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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