i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
