Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Ladies don't puke and tell
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
