He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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