it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize