Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
