Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
