Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
then he tried to convert me to islam
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
as a side note pls kill me
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
