Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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