im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Please don't give away my fajitas
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
