Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
