he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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