Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
