did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
