Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
