Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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