they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
