you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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