Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just high enough for therapy.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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