I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize