Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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