Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
it was like eating out sand paper
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
