can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
