Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
