Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize