I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
