If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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