Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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