I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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