I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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