there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
