I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He kissed a someone with a penis
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize