I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
