$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize