You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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