Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Even my vagina gasped.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
