we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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