5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
