Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
