i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
