Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
