Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
