If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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