'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
A bitchslap is in order.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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