her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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