Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
