apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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