Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
