You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
