I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Screwed.edu
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
