Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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