guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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