Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
