My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
